


The Boondock Saiyans

by Areo_ian



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Blood and Violence, Domestic Violence, Gun Violence, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:14:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23187607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areo_ian/pseuds/Areo_ian
Summary: Tired of the crime overrunning the streets, Saiyan brothers Vegeta and Goku are inspired by their chance encounter to use their training to cleanse their hometown of evil with their own brand of retribution. As they hunt down and kill one evil after another, they become controversial heroes in the community. But an eccentric FBI agent, is fast closing in on their blood-soaked trail.An adaption of “The Boondock Saints” movie and a Dragon Ball human AU.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	The Boondock Saiyans

**Author's Note:**

> Happy St. Patrick’s Day
> 
> If you haven’t seen it, “The Boondock Saints”, is a definite laugh, shock and genuine WTF kinda movie!
> 
> This story is inspired by a convo with Rogue_1102. Thank you for bringing it up and following the plot bunny with me. And giving me the amazing motivation to write it!
> 
> Thank you RuthlessCupcake for beta-ing, re-beta-ing, your feedback and spot-on suggestions that make the story way, way better!

He remembered why he was doing this, but he couldn’t remember where the fuck he was going. Every corner looked the same. The light in his hand bounced off metal walls the same way, at every angle. Heavy thumps pounded in his ears. The vent shaft he crawled into an hour ago now felt like a coffin. The sighs from his companion caused his boiling frustration to bubble over.

“Hey. Ugh Geets. Where are we going?”

“Shut it. I’m figuring this shit out.” Vegeta responded in a firm whisper.

“Let’s just go back the way we came! I’m sick of dragging this rope around. It weighs like thirty pounds.”

“I said, shut it! And what do you mean ‘go back the way we came’? Do I have to remind you _why_ we are here? _The reason_ we are doing this? Or did that idiot brain of yours forget?”

His questions were answered with a deadlock stare and flaring nostrils. “You know I will never forget Vegeta. You know what? How about _you_ carry the rope and _I’ll_ lead us back. And we can start again.”

“Kakarot I said shut it! If they hear us, they will kill us before we can get the drop on them. Second, no fucking way am _I_ carrying _your_ weight. Third, we don’t have time to ‘go back’. We will lose our window and these lowlife, syndicate assholes will get away!” Vegeta’s voice carried through the vent above a whisper but lower than his speaking voice. A level the other man knew all too well and knew everything said, was meant as a threat.

Despite his kind demeanor, he didn’t like being told what to do. A fact Vegeta knew very well, but often ignored. An issue which always landed them both in trouble.

“Here.” He shoved the rope into Vegeta’s chest and started crawling away.

“I said, I’m not carrying your shit!” Vegeta grabbed his leg and dragged him back to his previous position.

“I’m not the one that wanted this stupid freaking rope!” He kicked his leg out of Vegeta’s grip and shoved him, hard.

“Fuck you dumbass!” Vegeta smacked the top of his head with a flashlight.

“How am I the dumb one? When you are the one that’s lost!” He kneed Vegeta in the stomach.

In an instant they were both rolling around in the dusty, tight space; punching, kicking and tangling themselves in the ropes they both were carrying. The screech and snap of metal being stretched then broken, halted their movements. A sudden shift of the cramped space caused them to brace their backs together.

“Kami.”

“Fuck.”

Their world dropped from underneath them; landing them into trouble. The vent shaft split and dumped them through the ceiling of the hotel room below. Suspended in the air by the mangled rope, snagged on jagged edges of the vent, the two Saiyan brothers armed themselves and carried out their mission.

———

Three years ago, they ignored her, but their feet found their calling.

With his nose to the clouds, Vegeta watched patiently as each of his smoke rings caught the morning sun. _“That insolent dolt.”_ He snuffed out his cigarette against the brick wall and made his way down the alleyway. Protecting himself against the fall wind that nipped at his skin, he pulled up his heavy wool collar and stuffed his knuckles into his jean pockets.

The sound of metal breaking bricks echoed down the small alleyway. “Wait up Geets!” A door, on half of its hinges, slammed shut behind a tall man attempting to buckle his pants, put on his boots and right his peacoat all at the same time.

“Fuck off, Kakarot! We have one more strike before we are tossed out of the plant. I’m not losing another job because YOU are incapable of being on time!”

“Geets would it kill ya to call me Goku? Even _He_ calls me Goku.” After hopping on one foot, while tying the other boot in the air, Goku quickly caught up to Vegeta.

“That’s not the name your parents gave you.” Vegeta glowered behind him without breaking his quick stride. “I only allow you to call me that plebeian nickname because… no one needs to know who I really am.”

“Yeah I know. But we could call each other by our nicknames, like real brothers.” Goku elbowed Vegeta a little too hard, causing him to stumble briefly.

 _“Grrrr.”_ Struggling to keep calm, he marched across the busy street without looking. “Keep pushing me Kakarot, and you’ll lose that arm. And we aren’t brothers!”

Goku followed, smiling and whispering ‘sorry’s’ to the loud honks and curses spewed their way.

“Aww come on, don’t act like that.” Catching up to Vegeta and plopping a large hand on his shoulder, Goku was swiftly shoved into a pile of garbage.

Vegeta led the way down back alleys and around the sharp corners, to avoid the busy streets and anyone that could recognize him. Goku however, waved to familiar faces and scored a goal against kids playing at the park.

From the bridge, Vegeta could see their boss outside the meat distribution plant, taking a smoke and looking at his watch. Cursing the wind, he quickly descended the metal steps two at a time, then made a short cut down a street that ran next to the bridge.

“Keeping up with you is like a workout.” Goku made up the distance between them by jumping down the full flight of stairs.

“If we left on time, we could have taken our time… could have even got breakfast! But your sorry ass wanted to sleep longer.”

“Fuuuck! I mean damn! We could have gotten breakfast from the diner? You should have said something!”

“I don’t have to say shit! And _you_ are training the new guy today.”

“Fine. It's probably best. Since you got in that nasty fight with the last new guy… girl.”

“Not my fault the bitch couldn’t take a joke.”

A heart stopping scream stopped them from taking another step. The laughter that followed drew their full attention to the side street next to them. A woman bloodied and bruised cried out for help. They watched as her elbow repeatedly anchored itself between the cobblestones and the rest of her limp, broken body dragged behind it.

“PLEASE HELP! SOMEBODY! ANY-ANYBODY! PLEASE HELP ME!” Desperation soaked her voice.

 _“HA, HA!_ Scream. Cry. Wail to the heavens. No one will hear you. No one will help YOU.” His foot connected with her body and the crunch of broken bones followed his voice. Her body rolled down the street, like a tumbleweed blowing in the air, until her head connected with the tire of a parked car, and bringing her to a halt.

An onlooker bumped into Goku as she passed by. “Oh my God! This guy is beating up this wom- Wait, is that? Oh, it’s just Kitty. You know Kitty Genovese? Yeah, that one.. _ugh._ She prob deserves it too. druggie whore.” Goku’s face frowned at the woman laughing into her phone. Taking a look around, he saw people passing by going about their morning commute. Anyone that stopped, used their phones to record the depravity, rather than report what was going on.

“Such a quiet little Kitty.” Her assailant sauntered up to her. “Come on, _purr_ for me? Just... One. More. Time.” He dragged her lifeless body to the middle of the street. “Come on? Let me hear it!” Knee to the ground and foot on her arm, he sat on her midsection. “I can’t hear you!” A knife set into her chest. Fainter than a whisper, a plea for help reached their ears.

“Let’s go!” Vegeta shifted his shoulders and walked on towards his original destination. Footsteps didn’t follow him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Goku take off his coat and head to the attacker.

“That’s it! LET ME HEAR IT AGAIN!” The sound of meat being repeatedly hacked into echoed down the street.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Vegeta yanked Goku by the back of his shirt, resulting in nothing. Only once Vegeta put himself in front of him, did Goku stop.

“I have to stop him.” Goku wiped his nose with the back of his wrist.

“Look at her! She’s as good as dead by now.” Vegeta pushed him, causing Goku to stumble backwards. “Let’s go. Now.” The threat in Vegeta’s voice hit Goku like a punch to the gut. But he didn’t move. Vegeta stared at him while he stared at the woman dying on the ground, staring back at him.

“Look.” The attacker seized her neck. Pulling it up and moving it side to side, he then slammed it down on the stone. “See? No one here to rescue you this time.” Supporting himself on the hilt of the knife in her body, he stood up and wiped his sweaty brow. “Let this be a lesson to you all! Steal from Checkov or the Syndicate,” He spit on her body before walking away. “You die.”

The eyewitnesses quickly hid their phones and scattered away.

“Holy fuck that was brutal!” A young man nervously chuckled as he walked past Vegeta.

“Evil is more like it. We shouldn’t have even come to this part of town!” A young woman tightened her hold on the arm of the young man.

Vegeta watched them walk away. She pushed the young man away from her after he showed her the video. The dead woman’s cries could be heard again, as the young man followed the young woman down the street.

Vegeta’s once frozen limbs now burned from the fire flowing through his veins. He felt the same heat resonating from Goku. Looking up to his face, his eyes jetted down to follow Goku’s gaze. Blood flowed down the street and around his shoes, forming a river between Goku’s legs.

Their heads rose at the same time. Locking eyes, a voice - _His_ voice - spoke to them.

_“Boys. People will always fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil that people must fear most. And that is… the indifference of good men. Which is why you must strive to be good men: righteous and strong. Pray with me: ‘When I awaken my flashing strike and my hand takes hold on retribution, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies. And I will repay those who wrong me. Raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy Saints.’ ”_

Vegeta turned towards the body. Goku picked up his coat, put it on and flipped up the collar. Together, their steps led them away from the blood soaked street and into the shadow of the evil man; putting them closer to their calling.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an adaptation. Using DB as a base and bringing in Boondock Saints, the characters will not be exactly the same. Vegeta and Goku are a mix of Connor and Murphy. It seems like that will happen with the rest of the characters as well.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!  
> The good, bad and ugly are welcomed 😊


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